Getting Older & Slowing Down is Both Beautiful & Weird ❤️

Why must time move so much faster these days..?

Last weekend I took the Amtrak train down to Virginia to visit my parents and my sweet dog, Millie. I realized I hadn’t been to visit them since Christmas! (My mom came here to see me in April, but I hadn’t seen my dad or Millie since December.) I truly had the best time. This trip felt like the real summertime that I know and love - sticky heat, yummy food, cold drinks, relaxing on the couch and by the pool, long walks in the sun, live outdoor music, my dad’s pancakes and my mom’s French toast soufflé, sleeping in, and feeling no rush at all.

Going “home” isn’t quite the same anymore. In August 2023, my parents moved out of the childhood home in Georgia that we had lived in for over 22 years. I spent the majority of my life in that home - playing with baby dolls and Barbies, riding my bike in the neighborhood, having family dinners, enjoying pancakes (aka “flips”) made by my dad on a Saturday morning, and keeping track of my height every year by marking it on the inside of my closet door. It wasn’t just the home that was special, it was more so all the times we shared there - the memories and the routines. It was the way I felt - the comfort, peace, and knowing that I could be my full self there. (Looking back, what a joy and privilege that was.)

Even when I wasn’t living there I still returned to that home for every holiday throughout college, post-grad life in Atlanta, and my adult life in NYC. I even went home for 3+ months during COVID in 2020, as things were so bleak in New York for a while. Ironically, some of my favorite times at home were during that 3-month span. I had no idea at the moment but now, five years later, I look back on it so fondly. My dad and I took a long walk through the neighborhood every night with Millie. I would play some of my favorite songs for him on my phone and he’d play some of his - we would alternate back and forth between oldies from the 60s and 70s and the current top 40 on Spotify. There were fireflies, friendly neighbors to chat with, and the smell of fresh cut grass. I’m actually crying right now while writing this, thinking about those times and the feelings it brings back. How lucky I was to grow up in such a safe, loving home in a beautiful neighborhood with lots of trees and grass and space to play. 115 View Pointe Drive was my safe place and, in all sincerity, my favorite place in the world.

But, time moves on! Now, I don’t return to that home. My parents live in an apartment in Ashburn, Virginia, about an hour outside of Washington DC on the metro. They downsized, which they wanted and needed to do. They no longer needed a 2-story, 4-bedroom home for just the two of them. Their new place is very cute - my mom has her plants on display on their outdoor terrace and we enjoyed drinking coffee out there in the morning and sangria in the afternoon. They have a pool and gym, no stairs, and it requires no lawn care. It’s well manicured with bright flowers, green grass, and a fountain. It’s a lovely complex and I’m very happy for their decision.

Over just the past few years, my dad has had both a quadruple bypass surgery and a hip replacement surgery. These procedures, particularly the heart surgery, really caught me off guard and shook me (and my siblings) to say the very least. It was a wakeup call that my parents are getting older and so are their bodies. It was the biggest, most important reminder to cherish every day and every moment with them.

We’re all getting older. I’m 32, my mom is 67 and my dad is 74 (and will be 75 in September). Now, more than ever, I try to soak it all in. Life moves too quickly, especially when you live many states away.

I realized that my last trip to see my parents by myself (without my partner or siblings) had been almost a year and a half ago in February 2024. That means I hadn’t had quality, one-on-one alone time with my dad since then. It was another reminder that I simply need to prioritize seeing him more. It’s too important. We’re currently planning a solo trip for my dad to come up to NYC on his own, which he hasn’t done since I’ve lived here - for over 7 years! (He’s come to visit many times but never by himself.) I’m so excited because it will give us a chance to reconnect on a more personal level, which I absolutely love doing with my dad. We have a similar brain and operate on the same wavelength, so we really understand each other well.

My sweet dog, Millie, whom we’ve had since I was 18 years old (we kind of got her to keep my little sister company while both my brother and I were away at college), is also getting older. She is now 15 years old. On this visit, I noticed how much Millie has aged since seeing her just six months ago. Her eyesight is nearly gone, she can’t hear, and her fur is going grey. The biggest shock was seeing that her back legs don’t work as well, so she doesn’t walk around as fast or as often. In fact, my dad now takes her out to pee in a cute little wagon. We had a nice, peaceful time wheeling her down in her wagon every night, though. She loves it and looks adorable in it.

When I left on Sunday, I gave Millie the biggest, longest hug I could. I looked in her deep brown eyes and told her how much I loved her over and over. I cried a lot.

What I loved most about this particular visit with them is that, while it wasn’t my home, it still totally felt like home. I slept in late every morning, my mom woke me up with home cooked breakfast on the table, we took long walks in the sun and talked about life. I laid out by the pool, worked on my tan, and took Millie out in her wagon every night. We went out to dinner twice, including an adorable, delicious Italian restaurant. We watched live music at an outdoor town center, my mom made strawberry sangria, and we ate ice cream and watched TV shows on the couch.

These are the small but perfect moments that feel like true summertime to me. And it felt so wonderful to have these moments with my parents again.

This trip felt so special. ❤️